Burnout Almost Made Me Walk Away From Nursing

I don’t even know where to start, but I guess I’ll just say it:

I was on the verge of walking away from nursing.

Not because I didn’t care anymore. That was the worst part. I did care. I still do. But I was tired. Tired in my body, exhausted in my mind, and weary in a way that sleep couldn’t fix.

I worked night shifts at a large private hospital in a step-down unit. Everyone thought it was a “good” job. But no one knew that I had a three to four-hour round-trip commute on top of 12.5-hour shifts. I would leave home when the sun was still up and come back the next morning as it was rising again. I was out all night, every night. There were days I would wake up and just feel numb, like I was on autopilot. My life didn’t feel like mine anymore.

Eventually, I noticed something that shook me. I wasn’t treating my patients the same way I did when I started. I wasn’t showing up with the same warmth or presence. I wasn’t as kind. That broke my heart. Because if you know me, you know I became a nurse to give people real care, the kind that makes them feel seen and safe, not just stable.

And I realized it wasn’t because I stopped caring. It was because I had nothing left to give.

So I left.

I took a job at a community hospital closer to home. And no, it’s not some big-name private hospital, but it gave me space to breathe. That alone changed everything.

Now I can sleep. I can eat. I can rest without guilt. And little by little, I’ve been able to show up as the nurse I used to be the one with empathy, with patience, with heart. The version of me that listens, that advocates, and that feels the work instead of just surviving it.

That part of me is coming back. And honestly, that means more than any title or hospital name ever will.

But life is still hectic. I’ve got three jobs right now and I’m building a business from scratch. I started Cille Scents because I wanted something of my own. Something creative. Something that could one day give me more freedom and less burnout. It’s not easy, but at least it feels like I’m working toward something now. Not just staying afloat, but building a life I want to live.

This isn’t a story about perfect balance. I don’t have that yet. But it’s the beginning of something softer. Something better. And I’m holding on to that.

If you’ve ever felt like you were losing yourself in the work, but still care too much to walk away — I see you.

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Mental Health Disclaimer

If you’re struggling with your mental health, feeling disconnected from yourself, or having thoughts that are overwhelming, please know you’re not alone — and help is available.

Call or text 988 to reach the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline, available 24/7 in the United States.

If you’re in NYC, you can also call NYC Well at 1-888-NYC-WELL (1-888-692-9355). Counselors are available by phone, text, or chat

Looking for a therapist but your insurance doesn’t cover it?

This is the platform I personally use:

Try BetterHelp with my referral link

You’ll get matched with a licensed therapist, and it’s all online flexible, private, and affordable. If you’re not sure where to start, this might be a good option.